Compassion. This elusive (sometimes) emotion is the key to all healing.
Not long ago, I went through a significant adjustment period in my Spiritual journey. Many people know what I’m referencing, as we “awaken” to our higher wisdom, sometimes we have a reaction to the things that need to be released to create space for our new wisdom. Sometimes it’s easy, other times, not so much. I had a really tough go of it, and it was magnified by the fact that I had no such reaction for a long time in the beginning of this journey!
Here’s the deal:
For me to really embrace this new level of capability and work, it was really necessary for my relationships with other people (people in general, no one specific) to be free from assumption, judgment, self-doubt, and fear. (My students will recognize this as what I call “Neutral State”.) In order for that to happen, there were some issues that had to be worked through, and significant work on myself, to create reactions that allow me to meet everyone where they are. (Easier said than done, right?)
Compassion is the key!
I was really surprised to learn that every issue must circle back to compassion. That my issues with my parents (both have passed) would never be resolved until I could find compassion for their actions. Not lip service compassion, but true compassion, and recognition of why they did the things they did. Meeting them where they were. (This situation was not limited to my parents, but you get the idea.) I was not able to fully release my issues with them until I took the train ride from their actions, through my reactions, back to compassion.
Here’s the rub!
You can have all the compassion in the world for others, but if you don’t learn to find compassion for yourself, it will never work!
So often, we forget to show ourselves compassion. I didn’t really understand the importance of this until I really had to work through it, and what I mean is this: The effects of the actions of others are our reactions. If we have imbalanced reactions, it causes us to lash out, to treat others how we’ve been treated, and to attempt to feel powerful when we are powerless. Reactions like this often generate guilt, which is the enemy of compassion! Have you ever “told someone off” or stood up for yourself in a way that still haunts you? I have. It truly wasn’t until I learned to have compassion for myself, to understand that those reactions came from the damaged version of myself, that I was truly able to move on, to move through what I was experiencing.
You must commit to it. Compassion is the doorway to forgiveness. If you have specific issues to work on, you can visualize the person or situation, close your eyes, and say to yourself “I was reacting in this situation from (anger, hurt, guilt). It is not in alignment for me to hurt others, if that is the result, I am sorry. I will sit in the energy of compassion to heal my (hurt, anger, etc.) so I may find compassion for my own actions and the actions of others. This is one way to do it, there are many others. Do what works for you! But you know, I will always tell you to sit in the energy of that which you seek. Compassion is key!